Already a month OLD!!!

I can't even believe that my lil mama will be a month old tomorrow. It really feels like yesterday that I went into labor with her! If that month went by fast I can only imagine how fast the others will go by. I so enjoy just holding her. It seems like she is trying to do so much already. Sometimes she yanks her pacifier out of her mouth all by herself. Then there are days that she really tries to lift her head up and she is getting pretty good at it. She can't hold it up pretty long but that doesn't even matter to me. She's already making strides!!!

Yesterday while at my mom's house, I ran across my newborn pictures and the scary thing is, Ashlynn looks just like me. Only, I don't see it when I look at her, I have to look at a picture to see it. I've gotten so used to "she looks just like Trice" or "I see your mom in her" . I never really hear, "she looks just like you". When I saw that picture I was so excited!!!

I've been letting her sleep on her tummy when she takes naps as long as I am up to watch her and she is so much more comfortable that way. Too bad I won't let her sleep like that at night. Speaking of night, our nights are getting so much better. She's sleeps for hours at a time until she's hungry. She does sleep in the bed with us because it's easier for me to nurse that way. I used to be worried that she wouldn't be able to sleep at all unless she was with us, but during the day she naps on the couch and in her bassinet without us so she's doing just fine!

I'm finally feeling more comfortable with her because I've got her figured out now. Most of the time, all she needs is to be held and she's content.

Life is good and I am truly blessed!

2 1/2 weeks done

So I've been a mommy for 2 1/2 weeks now and it is NOT easy!! I love it and wouldn't trade it for anything but it is not as easy as I thought it would be. Ashlynn is great! Her little personality is starting to come out. I think she will be playful like her daddy. I can sometimes be on the more serious side. We've kinda gotten her used to sleeping with us and I don't want that to be a problem for her when she goes to daycare so I am really trying to get her to sleep in her bassinet. She does fine in her bassinet during the day, it's at night where she refuses to get in there. I think if I can get some sort of routine down with her for bed time we may have more luck. Good thing is, she's not even a month old yet so we may be able to break the bad habit. Tomorrow is another visit to see Dr. Joki and check on her weight. Last time we were there she was starting to gain some of her weight back. When we were discharged from the hospital, she weighed 6lbs, 3 oz. Last week, she was 6lbs 5 oz. I think she's gotten bigger because she feels a little heavier. I hope she has reached at least 7 lbs.

School starts for me in about a month!! I can't even believe how fast the summer has gone! I have several staff developments that I really don't want to go to b/c I don't think I am ready to leave my little girl yet. Luckily, some of them are on Tuesdays when I know Trice will be off. On the other days, my mom will keep her b/c my mom is closest and if anything happened I don't have to go too far. I am glad that daycare will be in my school next year so I can check on her when I want. :)

Ashlynn is napping and I have learned to nap while she's napping so I am gonna go take a nap!!

Nursing is going ok. I get discouraged sometimes. A few days after we were discharged I came down with a breast infection called mastitis. It was pretty bad. It makes you feel like you have the flu!! Ashlynn wasn't latching on correctly. She was getting frustrated, I was getting frustrated. Things are better now. She latches on easily for the most part. I am still considering formula, but at the moment, we can't afford formula, and I am trying to lose 6 more lbs of pregnancy weight. I am trying to do the right thing b/c I know breast milk is best, but I also remind myself the nursing isn't for everyone. I will at least give it a month.

Getting the hang of things!

Life as a mother is great!!! Ashlynn is amazing! She sleeps alot and is starting to nurse more often! I get excited when she goes to the restroom because that means that there is a chance she is getting rid of the some of the bilirubin her little liver has having a hard time doing on it's own. Her jaundice is still kinda high (14.7) as of yesterday so we had to go back to the hospital to get her lab work done again. I'm really hoping that it's going to start to go back down, but I've heard that babies can be jaundiced for up to a month. I am waiting to hear back from the doctor about the work that was done this morning. She was discharged from the hospital at 11, then Friday it went up to 13.9, then Saturday it was 14.7. I have a good feeling that today will be the day it goes down. I had her exposed to some sunlight yesterday while she was sleeping so I am hoping that helps also. The doctor said for me to do it.

I have come down with mastitis, a breast infection that causes you to feel like you have the flu. I had a fever of 100.6 on Friday night when I called the doctor and he called in a prescription for me. It's starting to work because I'm feeling a little better.

Nursing is becoming better. Ashlynn is eating more and more. I do supplement with formula and I probably will until her jaundice level drops. The only time I get frustrated with nursing is at 3 a.m. and I am dog tired. I've been pumping milk and freezing it so that when I go back to work next month I won't have to work as hard. I am not sure how long I will nurse. Maybe until my weight goes back down. I gained 25 lbs during pregnancy and I can't wait to get it back under my pre-pregnancy weight.

Well, Ashlynn and daddy are napping and I think I am going to take advantage of this time and nap as well!!!

Jaundice....ugh

I've so enjoyed spending time with Ashlynn!! The day she was born the pediatrician on call informed me that there was a chance she would get jaundice. :( They decided to watch her carefully. So, they've done lab work to check for bilirubin in her system and every time it has come back higher than the time before. Her skin has become a little yellow. Her lab work last night (4 a.m.) came back pretty high so the doctor ordered that she begin phototheraphy to help her little system get rid of the bilirubin. Initially, I said she can stay in the nursery and receive the therapy, but I missed her so much that they brought her down to my room.The photo is of her receiving the therapy while she is in the room with me. The draw back to this therapy is that she HAS to stay under the lights for it to be effective which means when she starts crying I can't go and pick her up. That is SOOOO hard to do!! So, reluctantly, I called the nursery and had them come get her and take her back. It would be so hard for me to leave her be. I've been crying all morning. I think I've cried so much that I am making myself sick!!! She will only come out when it is time to nurse which is now being supplemented by formula. So I will nurse her first and then follow with formula. The doctor says that this will make it easier for her to use the restroom which she needs to do in order to be jaundice free. She wasn't using it enough with just food from the breast. I'm really hoping to take her home with me today. They gave me the option of finishing the phototheraphy at home but I think I am going to decline that offer because I will be too tempted to pick her up and cuddle with her when she needs to be under the lights. I miss her being in the room with me, but I've prayed and prayed and I know she will be ok. She wouldn't have to stay for long and I am just 10 minutes away and don't have to work so I could come see her when I need.

Now, if I could just stop all of this crying!!!